Took a half day from work today. I just wanted to take some time for myself. Had to stop and think.
Got to Garett Mountain. I've always loved this spot. Knowing I can see all of Paterson. Where I've grown up. It's beautiful. It helps me get back to being positive.
I've ended things with Mr. 2014. I still think about him. I find myself comparing him to my long tim friend. Both so different but also both have different life experiences.
One I considered my best friend at one point and even thought maybe hes the one. The other I thought could be a long term relationship; maybe even kids.
But as I reflect up here on this beautiful sunny day. I think I need to focus on myself again. Which is hard. Especially when you think something is wrong with you and that's why guys don't want anything serious with you.
I put my self in situations where I hope people will notice me. It shouldn't be this hard to be noticed. Starring to think my aura's light might be dimming or just completely shut off. So how do I turn it back on. Brighten it up. Pills can't be the only thing.
The struggle, very real. Never thought I'd be one to be so negative. I don't know how to get out of this funk.
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